


In Between The Grey Areas

by Potato_gorl



Category: inner conflict - Fandom, lwj needed time to think, 陈情令 | The Untamed (TV), 魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 魔道祖师 | Módào Zǔshī (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Conversations, Dreams and Nightmares, Gen, M/M, Realization, seclusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26575603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_gorl/pseuds/Potato_gorl
Summary: In the last three years of seclusion following Wei Wuxian’s death, Lan Wangji had not been sleeping well. His dreams were plagued with memories of Wei Wuxian moments before his death. Hanging off the edge of the cliff, blood streaming down his face, smile hollow and so, so empty. Tonight was different. Instead of the bloody battlefield at the Burial Mounds, he was standing in the serene Cold Springs inside the Cloud Recesses.
Relationships: Lán Zhàn | Lán Wàngjī/Wèi Yīng | Wèi Wúxiàn
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	In Between The Grey Areas

In the last three years of seclusion following Wei Wuxian’s death, Lan Wangji had not been well. Like a desperate man, he would spend hours playing the guqin, searching for Wei Wuxian’s soul. Then, he would go over the rules of the Lan Sect. “Repent ill-advised actions” the elders had taught. However, after all this time, he only felt lost. Why is he the only one repenting? Were only Lan Wangji’s actions wrong? The pain from the wounds of war and the discipline whip had subsided, but his heart continued to ache. 

His brother regularly came to check in on him. He would leave a tray of food outside, but Lan Wangji refused to open the door and leave. He just wanted to be alone. He existed in a state of in-between, barely alive but not dead. 

His conflict with himself, the illogical rules and the elders' decisions along with the loss of Wei Wuxian had taken away his sleep too. His dreams were plagued with memories of Wei Wuxian moments before his death. Hanging off the edge of the cliff, blood streaming down his face, smile hollow and so, so empty. Every night, Lan Wangji would wake up in a cold sweat, warm tears streaming down his pale face. 

Tonight was different. Instead of the bloody battlefield at the Burial Mounds, he was standing in the serene Cold Springs inside the Cloud Recesses. The sky was not red, but a clear blue. The stench of blood had been replaced by the faint earthy scent of the forest. And among the greenery sat a familiar figure clad in black and red. Facing away, with his feet swinging very unceremoniously in the water was 15 year old Wei Wuxian.

Barely holding back a gasp, Lan Wangji stepped forward. A leaf crunched under his foot and Wei Wuxian turned. “Lan Zhan!” he exclaimed, face still young and innocent, oblivious to the horrors the future held for him. His smile was blinding, and Lan Wangji wanted to cry because he missed it. 

“Wei Ying, it is cold. Walk outside the pond.” 

“Lan Zhan? Are you feeling alright?” 

“Yes.” 

“In that case, why not?” he said, grey eyes shining. 

As they walked, Wei Wuxian asked “Lan Zhan, I have a question”, Lan Zhan still reeling in joy at the sight of Wei Wuxian, could do nothing but nod in reply. 

“Who decides what is wrong and what is right?” Wei Wuxian’s lips were smiling but his eyes seemed serious. Without thinking, Lan Wangji answered “Your parents and elders, your sect.” 

“Why them? What if they are wrong?”

“They cannot be, because they have more experiences, that they’ve learnt from.”

“So, a human’s learnings are an amalgamation of their life experiences?” 

“Yes.”

“Then how are they different from us? Are elders not humans like us? Can they not still be capable of learning more? Can they not make mistakes too.” 

Lan Wangji was taken aback at this. Wei Wuxian seemed to be voicing Lan Wangji’s own doubts. 

“Then answer this Lan Zhan, what really is right?” 

“Being good, righteous and just.” 

“What if one thinks they are good but everyone else thinks they are bad? Then, does one become wrong?” Lan Wangji stopped. Wei Wuxian was now picking at what Lan Wangji had wondered and contemplated for the last three years. 

Looking over his shoulder, Wei Wuxian laughed. “When did you become so slow? Walk faster!” Lan Wangji followed, jogging a bit to catch up. 

“I have another question,” 

“Mn.” 

“How many sides are there?” Lan Wangji’s brows furrowed, his confusion clear as day. 

“As in, when there is a conflict or disagreement, how many sides can exist?” 

“Two,” said Lan Wangji. 

“Good and bad, black and white, right and wrong, just like the yin and yang, correct?” asked Wei Wuxian in confirmation. 

Lan Wangji wanted to nod, but hesitated. This was something he was no longer sure about. He had been so sure before Wei Wuxian, but now, he could only stop and look at his feet. 

“You really have become slow!” said Wei Wuxian in mock-exasperation. He was about to say something else but stopped as if thinking about what to say next.

“Lan Zhan?” 

“Mn?” 

“Are you feeling alright?” 

Lan Wangji looked up into Wei Ying’s eyes. 

“Wei Ying?” 

“Yes?” 

“I was wrong. They were wrong too.” 

It was Wei Ying’s turn to look confused, his head tilting. 

“There are endless sides, and the world can not exist in black and white. Everyone has their own reasons for their actions. Human’s actions are determined by their learnings from their experiences and their upbringing. There are grey areas everywhere, we must respect them and it is in between these grey areas that we must exist.” Wei Wuxian’s grey eyes widened, surprised at the words leaving Lan Wangji’s lips. 

“I am sorry, Wei Ying” Lan Wangji said, tears streaming down his face. As he fell to his knees, Wei Wuxian reached for him, as if to comfort him. 

As his golden eyes met Wei Wuxian’s grey ones, he awakened. The tears were beginning to dry and the sun had not risen entirely suggesting it was five already. He stood up and opened the door, going to find his brother. To his surprise, Lan Xichen was already there, looking like he was going to knock. 

“Wangji,” Lan Xichen said slowly, taking in Lan Wangji’s appearance. 

“I want to leave seclusion, brother. I’m sorry I haven’t been around,” replied Lan Wangi.

Lan Xichen seemed taken aback, but then he smiled warm, and gentle. “Well then, welcome back, Wangji”.

**Author's Note:**

> This was something me and [Sri](https://twitter.com/sri_write?s=20) brainstormed during the writing of an assignment. Given how both of us put our love for Wangxian into this, there is no way I could not post it here. Hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as we enjoyed writing it.


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